Happy Anniversary INDEED!!!!
Dropped off the kids and then I mentally went through the time line of the day. The van we rented to move stuff to storage had to be back for 5:30 pm. He rode his motorbike to pick up the van, so it would be how he gets back home and I was with him.......HMMMMMMMM! I guess I am going for a ride. I have no helmet and I didn't wear a coat HAHAHA. So I figured out his plan was to go ride together as we originally planned when he first got the bike. This would be the weekend I would ride with him, trusting him with my life.
The trusting him with my life thing has been the issue. This was the last step that needed to happen to get us over to new beginnings. I am a fighter. I consider myself a knight. A defender and protector and that is part of how I approach my fit yummy mummy-ness. I used to play an RPG (role play game) where I was a knight. In game and now in real life, I am a knight. SO when I felt that my warrior wasn't fighting along side me (he played a warrior in game), I knew that something was wrong. His priorities weren't where he said they would be and being a stickler for keeping your word, I felt hurt. Well, yesterday I owned my hurt and found a way to deal with it and put that bug out of my head. I LOVE my husband and I do believe that we are one in the same person. I have seen other marriages and I admire how well they complimented one another, but my marriage is not quite the same as those. We are one in the same. Our passions, our doubts, our fears and hold backs, our struggles, our pain......it's like looking into the mirror and being faced with the harsh reality of yourself day after day. What we don't like in the other is the same thing we wish we could change in ourselves. It is great and awesome, and really painful all in one. So as I watch him stumble and struggle, I know that I have to help us to grow past that by getting to the heart of it myself. To change it in me so I can help him to change it in himself. For example, fitness.
After our second son was born and my recovery and health was nothing like what happened after our first son (refer to my page for visual), he started to go after changing how we eat and the activities we would do together. He thought I had chosen to become fat and frumpy and I told him that that wasn't the case. I couldn't walk, I couldn't stand and I had tearing and straining almost up to a year after the c-section. I was injured, I wasn't healing and I knew although I had a second chance at life, I wasn't living it the way I wanted. But he expressed how he wanted us to be and I was thankful for his input and efforts. We got new cookware (Saladmaster), and we ate according to that cookbook. He got a free weight bench and then bought weights. I got an exercise program and tried it out. I got insoles for my feet (the big difference in foot recovery and mobility) that helped to restore the natural arch to my feet and from there I came to where I am today. He helped me to recover (although wanting to do it together.....). So now it is my turn to help him.
So before we unloaded the last of the stuff to storage he made a detour to get me fitted for a helmet. SO I have a helmet (same size as his because of my hair LMBO) and gloves, he brought the jackets and after we unloaded we rode. And it was better than a roller coaster, I guess. But the joy of it for me was that I was on a motorbike (finally) and that I got to hold on to my husband for most of the day. We talked over an early dinner about going into the future together with growth and success and we were open about our thoughts, feelings, and actions over the last week. HUGE!!!
With a little faith (and trust me, at the end of last week I had very little left.....stupid bug), and a lot of hope we are going into another year together (and many more) with a plan that will last a lifetime.
Tags: anniversary, love, marriage, support
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